Written by Emily, Illustrated by Thaddeus
What is Parenting P.E.? No, there is no crab soccer involved, and square dancing is kept to a minimum. Parenting P.E. is the Physical Prowess, Emotional Fortitude and Mental Conditioning of Parenting. In other words, the stuff that makes us the exceptional athletes we undoubtedly are.
Unlike fitness fads, parenting will probably not go out of style–unless you’re wearing leg warmers and leotards or Prancercising (which we fully support as a humiliation tactic). We’re turning to football for our first installment of Parenting P.E. because fall is upon us, and we can’t ignore it. While everyone else is watching the players, we’re dreaming of the kind of disciplinary control exhibited by the men in black and white. Using simple hand movements and without raising their voices, they stop several tons of testosterone in its tracks, which is roughly equivalent to one or two toddlers. If only the proverbial “throwing in the towel” could have as much parenting power as a flag on the field. A parent can dream.
And in our dreams, a simple blow of a whistle would stop these infractions, too.
Not a football fan? You should be. You’re practically an expert. Go team!
Review more football penalties with last week’s Parenting P.E. installment.