My Vagina Dialogues

Written by Emily

There are few things my mom could have done better. Very few. I can really only think of 4 things*, if pressed, I might say she could have done to help a girl out. One of them is that she set the parenting bar so high I can’t even see it from where I’m standing. She’s that good. That’s one. Two and three have to do with vaginas, to be specific, my vagina.

Recently, I had dinner with my girlfriends. Since then, vaginas have been on my mind. Heart-to-hearts with good friends tend to circle around to lady parts–stuff coming out of them (i.e. babies) and even stuff going into them (no parentheses needed here, right?). This time, though, the conversation that landed in our laps was about hoo-ha hygiene… and maintenance.

And this is where my mother left me high and dry…

Click here or on the snazzy graphic to read more about my traumatic tween and teen experiences with the land down under at Please stop by, so these incredible women don’t regret inviting me!


If you have a vagina or love anyone who does, I’m sure you’ll have something to say!

Categories: Culture, Emily, Family

Tags: , , , , , , ,

4 replies

  1. That was funny because it is so very true! I remember having to learn on my own, and a few years later trying to talk my sister through it – and she was so embarrassed and made me go away!

  2. Lol! That was hysterical! A “vagina scented room spray” 😂

  3. I literally did not know to shave my bikini line and survived a very embarrassing co-ed pool party in the 7th grades. *shudders*

  4. Oh Emily! You have outdone yourself. I am laughing out loud and I don’t say that too often. I will be seeing “koochie stanx” for days now. Oh, God this is so great to read. Am I going on? I am sorry, I just love to be tickled like this. I know there was a moral in your story, but I am too immature to get past the “koochie stanx” part. I think we went to the same middle school. I love this.

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