Abercrombie and Fitch CEO: Proof Monsters Really Do Exist

Written by Emily


You’ve heard about Michael Jeffries, the 68-year old face behind Abercrombie and Fitch? He is the “brain” behind the idea to remove size XL from the women’s section of the store and only sell up to size 10. However, his reasons are sincere and honest. He only wants cool, skinny, beautiful kids to shop at AF. Oh. Okay.

Before you momcott AF and burn their clothes in effigy*, let’s think this through. I’m sure the Board of Directors only agreed to this asinine idea because Jefferies’s latest round of plastic surgery affected the part of his brain that acts as a moral compass. They’re trying to be compassionate and sensitive to the weirdo in the room.

That’s probably why they gave the go-ahead to these t-shirt messages:


because Jeffries’s other suggestions like:


and this:


and this:

Abercrombie-and-Fitch-T-ShirtsMessageOne…were just too forward and not nearly as cute or funny.

Surely they vetoed much worse when they manufactured padded bikini tops for 8-year olds with “push-up” descriptors. Maybe Jeffries offered a plastic surgery punch card: “Buy 9 items, get a nose job free!”


They said no to that at least. Because that would have been absurd…

almost as absurd as giving the okay to not hiring Black, Latino, and Asian individuals. But that had to have been because Jeffries gave them an ultimatum: No people of color or every customer gets weighed and measured upon entry.

I think there’s probably a lot we don’t understand here. We should stop bullying Abercrombie and Fitch like it’s the “uncool” kid who was invited to the party by accident!  Sheesh.

When are we moms going to chill out? Put away the Jeffries voodoo doll; he’s not well. Tear down the “pin the Botox syringe on the corporate CEO” poster. That’s just mean. Retract your email to Marvel comics with the subject: Face of Your Next Villain. You’re too harsh.

That’s enough. Take some lessons from the AF Board of Managers, and show a little compassion for this sick man. The best way to do that is to open your wallets and make a generous contribution.

*Note: Please momcott AF and burn their clothes in effigy.


Not convinced you want to rid your children’s closets of Abercrombie and Fitch clothes? Check out this great rant at People I Want to Punch in the Throat. Maybe Jeffries’s insane traveling requirements will change your mind. Here is the rulebook. Or perhaps just a little more insight into his killer personality will do the trick.

Categories: Emily

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21 replies

  1. Absolutely love the way you write! Great read.

  2. What a horrible view of corporate America. I hope this whacko is in the minority. I will never buy my grand kids anything from that place!

  3. bottom line we don’t have humor anymore

  4. Ugh. Just ugh. I am glad my kids aren’t old enough for this stuff yet. Hopefully the store will go away by that time!

  5. This is disgusting! I was just talking to my high school girls about this. They obviously aren’t the “cool kids” because they are outraged!

  6. so true!!! i have been fortunate that none of my kids have ever wanted clothes from there…there might have been t-shirt & hoodie gifts from others, but that is it. i may have played a slightly subliminal role in my kids not wanting to buy A&F though 😉
    i can’t even stand walking past one in a mall, i hold my breath because of the stench of that cologne pouring out of the vent system-blech!
    i definitely think A&F has played a part in the distorted self-images tweens & teens have been adapting over the past 10 years. The power of an ad campaign is very scary! Tons of money is poured into the psychological effect ads have on consumers! In my graphic design studies I have learned about it. I always pick at ads and how they play with our minds in front of the kids…i hope it’s rubbing off!

  7. Oddly, I have a vague memory of my dear old Dad ordering hunting/ fishing gear from A&F many, many years ago. Like Woolrich, they made good quality outdoor apparel. What a change! I wonder if Abercrombie is spinning in his grave over the direction the company has taken. A disgrace.

  8. I just can’t believe he’s for real. He must not have kids, friends with kids, family with kids, know any kids whatsoever…


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