Lessons Learned 1, 2, 3

Written by Emily

Sometimes life’s lessons are subtle. Sometimes not so…

Lesson Number #1:

We took Noah and Chloe to see the Christmas Spectacular show at Radio City Music Hall on Tuesday.


It was a wonderful trip. Never mind that a nasty virus swept through our house that very night, the next day and for several days after. I can’t blame the Rockettes.

Following the show, we did some NYC sightseeing to get completely immersed in the Christmas spirit: the tree, the skaters, the windows, a $120 rickshaw ride. And there it is. A $120 rickshaw ride from FAO Schwarz to Macy’s. I think $120 is a fair price for my children’s terror as we weaved in and out of NYC traffic.


I think $120 is a fair price for the silly smiles exchanged between passersby and me. I’m sure the skinny, perspiring pedaler thought it was fair. Me? Not so much.

Lesson learned: Read the fine print and parenthetical asides. I was an English teacher, for crying out loud (and yes, I almost cried out loud).

Lesson Number #2:

On the same trip to NYC, I thought I’d take care of a little Christmas shopping–nothing major as my children revolt at the mere sight of stores. I needed a Zara gift card. A quick in and out, and I could check a gift off my list. I walked inside intent on completing my task when the security guard at the door pointed to a man with a stroller and then pointed to the door. My mouth dropped open. After a few laps around the store, my rage grew. I simply had to leave. This mother of three was not going to be a patron of this place. I was internally outraged. Outwardly, I gave my best clenched jaw.

As I left, I turned to the father, who was standing outside with the stroller and confirmed, more for solidarity than details, “Did he make you leave because you had a stroller?”

The father smiled and pointed to his son, “Oh, no. He’s eating.”

I looked at the little boy dripping and sticky with mango juice running down his chin. He was a slobbery, gooey mess. Even I was impressed at how thoroughly covered in food he had become.

(A few hours later, I sent my husband into another Zara. He purchased the gift card without incident.)

Lesson learned: Check my self-righteous indignation at the door. Or leave it with the messy toddler. He would, no doubt, destroy it.

Lesson Number #3:

Back from NYC the next day, surrounded by the comforts of home, I let myself get a bit too comfortable. My hyper-alert mom radar was dangerously undercharged from lack of sleep.

I changed Sylvie’s diaper, wrapped it up and continued the process…until Chloe demanded my attention. I turned for a moment to address Chloe’s needs, leaned away from Sylvie, who was pants-less on the floor and turned back to find her waving the soiled diaper like a maraca.

Naturally, I screamed. A log of feces spiraled out of the diaper and landed next to my darling babe. Still screaming, I grabbed the diaper and lunged to get the giant turd. Somehow my one-year old beat me to it and picked it up like a regular plaything.

Still screaming, I wrangled the thankfully-solid mass from her hands. I then began the disinfecting process. That was Wednesday. Still screaming, I finished the disinfecting process five minutes ago.

Lesson learned: Focus until the job is done…especially when poop is involved. But focus, in general, I think.

Categories: Emily, Family

Tags: , , , , , , ,

6 replies

  1. I needed this laugh!!
    I felt like I was right there with you and if I had been, we would have both been laughing, screaming and grossed-out together. Us Moms really do see/smell/touch/experience it ALL.
    BTW- I love the photo of you and the kids in front of the Broadway poster!

  2. Laugh, scream, cry…you know, it’s always a mommy cocktail of emotion!

  3. Mrs. Gallo I just love reading all these little stories you write. I sure do miss you hope you’re doing well.

  4. OMG that sounds familiar! I’am still laughing!!!

  5. The diaper story REALLY made me laugh! THAT lesson will always make you TOTALLY focused when diapering (>:) I looked at the various “rides” in NY longingly, and smiled at all the riders, but the prices empowered my feet!!

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